Comments for Brcarrol's Weblog http://brcarrol.wordpress.com Just another WordPress.com weblog Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:41:51 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Stem Cell Research by wipayne http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/12/12/stem-cell-research/#comment-13 wipayne Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:41:51 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/12/12/stem-cell-research/#comment-13 1. yes 2. It all looks good - it might be a bit broad 3. Although stem cell research could do wonders for the world of medicine and many people, it is a controversial issue when involving the destruction of human embryos. The topic used to be a black and white issue with many people having a moral and ethical problem with this embryonic destruction, but with recent discoveries, there may be no need to destroy embryos for research. 4. It supports your thesis well so far, right now you are still in the background phase. 5. The purpose of this paper is to convey that stem cell research is unethical although it does some good things it is wrong and we should focus on different things. 6. It is pretty obvious what you are trying convey. nice work brocko. 7. you use a good amount. I like the quote by Nancy Reagan in the first paragraph. 8. Great balance between quotes and normal stuff. 9. Works cited are good. you use them well when it is factual based. 10. Grammar looks good. Some minor errors that you can easily fix 1. yes
2. It all looks good
– it might be a bit broad
3. Although stem cell research could do wonders for the world of medicine and many people, it is a controversial issue when involving the destruction of human embryos. The topic used to be a black and white issue with many people having a moral and ethical problem with this embryonic destruction, but with recent discoveries, there may be no need to destroy embryos for research.
4. It supports your thesis well so far, right now you are still in the background phase.
5. The purpose of this paper is to convey that stem cell research is unethical although it does some good things it is wrong and we should focus on different things.
6. It is pretty obvious what you are trying convey. nice work brocko.
7. you use a good amount. I like the quote by Nancy Reagan in the first paragraph.
8. Great balance between quotes and normal stuff.
9. Works cited are good. you use them well when it is factual based.
10. Grammar looks good. Some minor errors that you can easily fix

]]> Comment on College essay- someone who has had a significant impact on me by pmeeuw http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/college-essay-someone-who-has-had-a-significant-impact-on-me/#comment-12 pmeeuw Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:22:10 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/college-essay-someone-who-has-had-a-significant-impact-on-me/#comment-12 I would actually omit the section about your mom. I'm not sure it fits in this essay. Also, consider leaving out the lines about skipping school. It might imply you don't take school as seriously as this college might hope. Which of course isn't true. :) I would actually omit the section about your mom. I’m not sure it fits in this essay. Also, consider leaving out the lines about skipping school. It might imply you don’t take school as seriously as this college might hope. Which of course isn’t true. :)

]]> Comment on College essay- someone who has had a significant impact on me by wipayne http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/college-essay-someone-who-has-had-a-significant-impact-on-me/#comment-11 wipayne Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:13:15 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/college-essay-someone-who-has-had-a-significant-impact-on-me/#comment-11 THis essay grabs my attention right away. I like how you say your mom wants the relationship that you and your dad have.. Your personality comes through well here. I can tell that it is you writing this paper. your grammar looks pretty solid The thesis is that you and your dad have a great relationship The paragraphs are organized well. i can see the topic sentences good paper THis essay grabs my attention right away. I like how you say your mom wants the relationship that you and your dad have..

Your personality comes through well here. I can tell that it is you writing this paper.

your grammar looks pretty solid

The thesis is that you and your dad have a great relationship

The paragraphs are organized well. i can see the topic sentences

good paper

]]> Comment on Acid spill, rainy weather force evacuation by brcarrol http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/acid-spill-rainy-weather-force-evacuation/#comment-10 brcarrol Tue, 16 Oct 2007 18:33:41 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/acid-spill-rainy-weather-force-evacuation/#comment-10 wow, it wouldn't let me put a space in b/w my two paragraphs, i don't know why but i tried multiple times. wow, it wouldn’t let me put a space in b/w my two paragraphs, i don’t know why but i tried multiple times.

]]> Comment on Freeing myself through forgiveness by wipayne http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/14/freeing-myself-through-forgiveness/#comment-9 wipayne Mon, 15 Oct 2007 17:47:04 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/14/freeing-myself-through-forgiveness/#comment-9 This is a good post. It is very touching. It is amazing how she can write such a good essay. She has some pretty wild stories that are hard to comprehend. It is easy to find a thesis in this i believe essay This is a good post. It is very touching. It is amazing how she can write such a good essay. She has some pretty wild stories that are hard to comprehend. It is easy to find a thesis in this i believe essay

]]> Comment on I believe in Streetlights by kooikooi http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/07/i-believe-in-streetlights/#comment-8 kooikooi Mon, 08 Oct 2007 17:47:53 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/10/07/i-believe-in-streetlights/#comment-8 1. i can see your point and how you connected streetlights to God. 2. the story of the light is really good, and i'm sure a lot of people can relate to. i know that i can... i almost rear-ended an suv in my little car b/c i was trying to roll down my window (manual roll down windows...) and didn't see the suv stop... 3. i think you could end with the first paragraph... i know mostly everyone is and you don't have to, but the story would make a really good catchy opener. i think it is a little confusing going from your story to a paragraph about God and living in a Chr. home and such... 5. i think you do well with using the sense of sight and sound. sight in the lights and such, and sound with the music and nature... you don't really have any taste or touch. you could use touch somewhere in the story about how it feels to be in control of a car and such??? 6. i think your overall point comes out well. if you leave your i believe sentence at the top, you could repeat it, or reiterate it at the end. 7. i think your greatest strength is the story. 1. i can see your point and how you connected streetlights to God.
2. the story of the light is really good, and i’m sure a lot of people can relate to. i know that i can… i almost rear-ended an suv in my little car b/c i was trying to roll down my window (manual roll down windows…) and didn’t see the suv stop…
3. i think you could end with the first paragraph… i know mostly everyone is and you don’t have to, but the story would make a really good catchy opener. i think it is a little confusing going from your story to a paragraph about God and living in a Chr. home and such…
5. i think you do well with using the sense of sight and sound. sight in the lights and such, and sound with the music and nature… you don’t really have any taste or touch. you could use touch somewhere in the story about how it feels to be in control of a car and such???
6. i think your overall point comes out well. if you leave your i believe sentence at the top, you could repeat it, or reiterate it at the end.
7. i think your greatest strength is the story.

]]> Comment on Living in the Here and Now by wipayne http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/09/30/living-in-the-here-and-now/#comment-7 wipayne Mon, 01 Oct 2007 01:41:10 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/09/30/living-in-the-here-and-now/#comment-7 This is a good I beleive essay. It is amazing how this guy could turn his life around. He is a very down to earth guy and i like his ambition to make things right. You need to focus on the present and make things right. This is a good I beleive essay. It is amazing how this guy could turn his life around. He is a very down to earth guy and i like his ambition to make things right. You need to focus on the present and make things right.

]]> Comment on Living in the Here and Now by Hannah http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/09/30/living-in-the-here-and-now/#comment-6 Hannah Sun, 30 Sep 2007 21:29:52 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/09/30/living-in-the-here-and-now/#comment-6 It's great that the author could take a tragedy and make it into something that changed his life for the better. It's hard for me to live in the present, especially at this point in life where everyone is asking "where are you going to college?" and "what are you going to do with your life?" It's better to live in the moment rather than dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. It’s great that the author could take a tragedy and make it into something that changed his life for the better. It’s hard for me to live in the present, especially at this point in life where everyone is asking “where are you going to college?” and “what are you going to do with your life?” It’s better to live in the moment rather than dwelling in the past or worrying about the future.

]]> Comment on Every Person Is Precious by Hannah http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/every-person-is-precious/#comment-5 Hannah Sun, 30 Sep 2007 21:22:38 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/every-person-is-precious/#comment-5 This author is someone I wish I could be like, seeing God everywhere. It's amazing how strong her faith is and how much she can help people who are suffering. She is a great "beacon of light" at her job. This author is someone I wish I could be like, seeing God everywhere. It’s amazing how strong her faith is and how much she can help people who are suffering. She is a great “beacon of light” at her job.

]]> Comment on Every Person Is Precious by Anonymous http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/every-person-is-precious/#comment-4 Anonymous Sun, 30 Sep 2007 21:22:11 +0000 http://brcarrol.wordpress.com/2007/09/29/every-person-is-precious/#comment-4 This author is someone I wish I could be like, seeing God everywhere. It's amazing how strong her faith is and how much she can help people who are suffering. She is a great "beacon of light" at her job. This author is someone I wish I could be like, seeing God everywhere. It’s amazing how strong her faith is and how much she can help people who are suffering. She is a great “beacon of light” at her job.

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